By: Kai Teo
We’ve all heard a militant vegan rant. “Animals are friends, not food!” “How would you feel if you spent your entire life in a cage, just waiting to die?” “Meat is death!”
I agree with you. Whole-heartedly. Given all the carefully researched findings on the perils of meat eating, the powerful documentaries, and the widespread availability of healthy alternatives, why the fuck are humans still eating fried chicken?
As a firm believer in veganism, I do my best to uphold animal rights, eat responsibly, and find alternatives around animal products. But every once in a while, when I walk past the much-dreaded burger restaurant and unwittingly catch a whiff of the flame-grilled farm-raised product of murder, I forget everything, order that shit, and stuff my fucking face.
I know that an animal has been mutilated so that I could have my lunch, I know that cattle is the largest producer of greenhouse gases, and I completely understand that animal protein feeds cancer. But I close my eyes, shut my mind off, and savour that bite of juicy, succulent patty, so meticulously marinated and expertly grilled, engineered to induce pure bliss in my oral cavity and accelerate my brain’s release of endorphins.
But with every bite I take, I am reminded that I am weak. I have failed in upholding my beliefs. I’m a shit person.
Every time I eat meat, the mix of intense ecstasy and overbearing guilt slides down my throat. It’s kinda like having sex with your best friend’s partner. Super exciting, but really wrong.
And I would like to believe that most people with a functioning brain feel the same way. We generally want the world to be a better place for all sentient beings, but we’re weak sometimes. We can’t resist the magical powers of an animal sacrifice.
At this point, I would like to express the opinion that the staunch meat eaters who have been advocating meat and dairy consumption based on health and nutritional reasons are liars. You like it, you know it’s kinda fucked up, and that’s why you’re finding all kinds of reasons to justify it. Eating meat is not good. Eating meat is tasty. That’s all.
We gotta admit it. We falter. We succumb to temptations. We fall back to old habits. So dear vegans, help us, don’t judge us.
You know, the whole thing about being militant about veganism is not helping the world convert to a better tomorrow. You’re being misunderstood, ridiculed, avoided. If you’re just in it for the fight, then yea, you could be militant anything. But it’s not gonna convert a vegan wannabe.
Cheese. Oh my god. Did you say cheese?
We know we’re not doing the right thing. We’re trying. Please don’t give us shit for faltering. Offer us support. Cook us something. I’m not telling you that you should eat meat. I’m telling you… oh my god. Bacon.
We understand why you’re angry. I’m angry at myself too. I know. If this whole thing is just for you to feel better about yourself because you want the world to know that you make better choices than me, well, please grow up. Ask yourself if you really want veganism to spread. Ask yourself if you’re doing this so that the world might be convinced.
Being an angry vegan is like bombing for democracy. Veganism is about compassion, about concern for the entire ecosystem, about a sound mind and sound body.
“If going vegan made this person so angry all the time, I think I better stick to eating some meat.”
So before you share the next article about how meat eaters are assholes, think about the impact of the article. Are you just gonna get some approving “Likes” from your already-vegan friends to convince yourselves that you’re good people? Or did you share that so that people can understand why they should turn vegan?
When there’s so much information out there, and the meat eater still insists that eating meat is good, I mean, fuck that person. Nothing you say would convince him or her anyway. Go spend your time helping someone who’s trying.
Meat eaters, unite! And learn! And try the more ethical, guilt-free, healthier, more nutritious, and tastier alternatives! And hopefully, we can all form a support group to help us convert.
Vegans, share! And love. And genuinely give the world the best information that you can. Lend the world a helping hand so that we, too, can climb up to the pedestal of equality. Be pro-vegan, don’t be anti-meat eaters.
Because there’s enough pissed off people in the world. We’re just asking for a little more love. And if you’re gonna make an angry comment, go ahead, prove my point.
If you like our stuff, there's more when you like and follow us on Facebook. If you didn't like what the article was saying, we hope to hear your thoughts. Big love.